Teller Couldn’t Read Robbery Note

A 30-year-old woman tried to rob a bank Wednesday by handing a teller a threatening note, but the teller couldn’t read her handwriting, police said. Police said Stephanie Martin walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hillsboro and handed the teller a note that read, “Need $300 or I’ll kill you. I’m serious.”The teller told Martin she couldn’t read the handwriting, police said. Martin then walked to a counter and re-wrote the note on a bank slip, police said.The teller then hit the silent alarm and the bank’s manager asked how he could help Martin, police said. Martin then said she wanted to open an account with the bank, police said. Police and FBI agents arrived at the scene and arrested Martin, who police determined was under the influence of drugs, police...

Angry wife eats ex-husband’s goldfish

A Texas woman who was angry with her ex-husband vented her rage against some entirely innocent parties – she fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them. Police in Pasadena, just south of Houston, say that the goldfish-eating is a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during happier...

True Bowel Movement

Ever heard the one about the exploding toilet? Well, an Olney woman could tell you all about it, from firsthand experience. Except that Nikita Fulton couldn’t be reached yesterday to detail her personal-injury lawsuit against the owners and operators of 1900 Market Street, or even to tell us to butt out. Her attorney, Joseph J. Aversa, wouldn’t discuss the suit without Fulton’s OK, but we couldn’t simply flush this one down the hopper. It happened on Oct. 30, 2007, according to the lawsuit, when a toilet the woman was using “exploded” in an eighth-floor ladies’ room at the 1900 Market Street building. “Excess water pressure caused a toilet to explode causing plaintiff to be thrown from the bathroom stall, thereby causing her severe and permanent injuries,” the suit...

Cat Poo Brew – Would you try it?

Bennett’s Fresh Roast in Fort Myers will brew what’s known as the world’s most expensive, rare and bizarrely harvested coffee. The price tag for a 12-ounce cup: $20. Kopi Luwak coffee beans are eaten by civets in Indonesia, then pass through the cat-like critter’s digestive tract before being collected and processed for brewing. The so-called “cat-poo coffee,” featured on “Oprah” and in the movie “The Bucket List,” sells for $190 a pound. Sound disgusting? Coffee connoisseurs claim gastric juices in the civet’s system enhance the beans’ flavor. If E. coli is a concern, Bennett’s owner Bob Grissinger roasted the beans at 600 degrees and brews coffee to about 200, reports the Fort Myers News-Press. Video I would try anything once… however I am starting to debate...

Breasts Too Big for Crime

Bikini model Serena Kozakura told a court her breasts were too large for her to fit through the hole. Miss Kozakura was convicted last year after a boyfriend said she had kicked in the wooden door of his room and crawled inside – because he was with another woman. But in her defence the 38-year-old model told the Tokyo court that the man had made the hole himself before accusing her. When she appealed this week her defence lawyer held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said she could not possibly have squeezed through it with her 43in bust. “I agree,” said Tokyo High Court presiding judge Kunio Harada after casting his eyes over the model. Bikini model Serena Kozakura told a court her breasts were too large for her to fit through the hole Miss Kozakura was convicted last year after a boyfriend said she had kicked in the wooden door of his room and crawled inside – because he was with another woman. But in her defence the 38-year-old model told the Tokyo court that the man had made the hole himself before accusing her. When she appealed this week her defence lawyer held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said she could not possibly have squeezed through it with her 43in bust. “I agree,” said Tokyo High Court presiding judge Kunio Harada after casting his eyes over the...

The biggest baby of the year award goes to…

This bouncing baby boy is a real bundle of joy weighing in at a massive 19.2lbs and measuring more than two foot long. The as-yet-unnamed boy was born by Caesarean and is the biggest baby ever to be born in Indonesia. His size is likely to be down to his mother Ani’s gestational...

World’s tallest man is looking for a girlfriend

All Sultan Kosen wants is a woman to look up to – but finding love is a tall order when you are 8ft 1in. The 27-year-old farmer from Turkey said he’s never had a girlfriend. But he hopes his luck will change after being named the world’s tallest man by the Guinness Book of Records yesterday. At the event in London he towered over 4ft 6in Josh Henderson from Surrey. Sultan said: “I want a car I can fit into, but more than that I want to get married. Until now it’s been really difficult to find a girlfriend. They’re usually scared of me. But hopefully now I’m famous I’ll meet lots of girls. I’d like to get married.” Sultan also boasts the globe’s biggest hands (10.8in) and largest feet (14.4in). And he needs crutches just to walk. Maybe it’s not his height that’s scaring the ladies after all, but the thought of his super-sized smelly...