Why One Wife Now Chooses To Shop Alone

going_shopping_with_the_wife

Here’s a proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British Hypermart to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs Murray,

While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store’s loyalty card, the manager of the store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of just some offenses over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:

* 15 Jun: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.

* 2 Jul: Set all alarm clock in Hardware’s to go off at five-minute intervals.

* 14 Aug: Moved a “Caution – Wet Floor” sign on a carpeted area.

* 4 Oct: Look right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose.

* 3 Dec: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

* 18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled “Pick me! Pick me!”.

* 23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “There is no toilet paper here!”.

Yours Sincerely,
Store Manager

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *