Swiss Suicidal Cows

In the picturesque Swiss village of Lauterbrunnen, the locals are worried. Dozens of alpine cows appear to be committing suicide by throwing themselves off a cliff near the small village in the Alps. In the space of just three days, 28 cows and bulls have mysteriously died after they plunged hundreds of metres to rocks below where they were killed instantly. In each case, local mountain rescue services using a helicopter had to be called in to remove the bodies because of the danger to the local groundwater of pollution.A police spokesman said: ‘There are no large carnivores living in the Alps anymore who would once have disposed of the bodies so they have to be moved. ‘We are investigating because cows growing up in the mountains normally can estimate dangers and do not plunge down cliffs. According to local reports, there had been violent thunderstorms in the area which may well have spooked the animals. Cows wandering at high altitude are a common sight across much of the Alps, where farmers let them loose to graze on the green plateaus above the villages. Often carrying large bells around their necks, most are dairy cows as the mix of vegetation and grasses at that high altitude are particularly good for milk and for making cheese. Cows do occasionally fall to their deaths in these Alpine regions although it is rare for so many to fall in one particular place. There has been speculation in the past that when this does happen it is because a tightly-grouped number have followed each other as they search for more...

The Infomercial For The Infomercial Stopper

Pure bureaucracy, sort of like a secretary having a secretary… luckily this is a parody of infomercials collectively.  However could you imagine if this was real…...

E-Mail to IT Support: Upgrade from BoyFriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

Dear IT Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate Housewife Reply from IT Support Dear Desperate Housewife, First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Kebab 6.1. Late Night Kebab 6.1 is a very bad program that will create FartingLoudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongue Kisses 6.9. Good Luck, IT...

Microsoft Edits Black Man Out of Photo?

Microsoft Edits Black Man Out of Photo, Apologizes – FOXNews.com Software giant Microsoft Corp. is apologizing for altering a photo on its Web site to change the race of one of the people shown in the picture.A photo on the Seattle-based company’s U.S. Web site shows two men, one Asian and one black, and a white woman seated at a conference room table. But on the Web site of Microsoft’s Polish business unit, the black man’s head has been replaced with that of a white man. The color of his hand remains...

Why One Wife Now Chooses To Shop Alone

Here’s a proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British Hypermart to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs Murray, While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store’s loyalty card, the manager of the store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of just some offenses over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras: * 15 Jun: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking. * 2 Jul: Set all alarm clock in Hardware’s to go off at five-minute intervals. * 14 Aug: Moved a “Caution – Wet Floor” sign on a carpeted area. * 4 Oct: Look right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose. * 3 Dec: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. * 18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled “Pick me! Pick me!”. * 23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “There is no toilet paper here!”. Yours Sincerely, Store...

8-Bit Video Games Done With Legos

1500 hours in creation of this tribute to 8-bit games. I wonder what else could be done with Legos… Post Reply if you know of something cool like...

Dissolvable bikini in action.

Update for this one… Get Revenge…. This is a video that shows the dissolvable bikini in action. Disclaimer: This video contains nudity and is NOT SAFE FOR WORK or anyone under the age of 18. Click here to see...