Women fired for USING ALL CAPS in email

Vicki Walker, an Auckland (New Zealand) accountant, was sacked for sending supposedly confrontational emails with words in red, in bold and in CAPITAL LETTERS. The Employment Relations Authority in New Zealand ruled that Walker was not fairly terminated from her position after sending the emails to co-workers. Her previous employers, ProCare, have now been ordered to pay New Zealand dollars $17,000 (US $11,500/€8000) for unfair dismissal. Fired in December 2007, after two years with the company, ProCare claim Walker had “caused disharmony in the workplace by using block capitals, bold typeface and red text in her emails.” Walker claims that the one email used in evidence was in regard to how her team should fill claim forms, and specifies a time and date highlighted in bold red, and a sentence written in capitals and highlighted in bold blue. It reads: “To ensure your staff claim is processed and paid, please do follow the below...

Swiss Suicidal Cows

In the picturesque Swiss village of Lauterbrunnen, the locals are worried. Dozens of alpine cows appear to be committing suicide by throwing themselves off a cliff near the small village in the Alps. In the space of just three days, 28 cows and bulls have mysteriously died after they plunged hundreds of metres to rocks below where they were killed instantly. In each case, local mountain rescue services using a helicopter had to be called in to remove the bodies because of the danger to the local groundwater of pollution.A police spokesman said: ‘There are no large carnivores living in the Alps anymore who would once have disposed of the bodies so they have to be moved. ‘We are investigating because cows growing up in the mountains normally can estimate dangers and do not plunge down cliffs. According to local reports, there had been violent thunderstorms in the area which may well have spooked the animals. Cows wandering at high altitude are a common sight across much of the Alps, where farmers let them loose to graze on the green plateaus above the villages. Often carrying large bells around their necks, most are dairy cows as the mix of vegetation and grasses at that high altitude are particularly good for milk and for making cheese. Cows do occasionally fall to their deaths in these Alpine regions although it is rare for so many to fall in one particular place. There has been speculation in the past that when this does happen it is because a tightly-grouped number have followed each other as they search for more...

The Infomercial For The Infomercial Stopper

Pure bureaucracy, sort of like a secretary having a secretary… luckily this is a parody of infomercials collectively.  However could you imagine if this was real…...

E-Mail to IT Support: Upgrade from BoyFriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

Dear IT Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate Housewife Reply from IT Support Dear Desperate Housewife, First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Kebab 6.1. Late Night Kebab 6.1 is a very bad program that will create FartingLoudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongue Kisses 6.9. Good Luck, IT...

Microsoft Edits Black Man Out of Photo?

Microsoft Edits Black Man Out of Photo, Apologizes – FOXNews.com Software giant Microsoft Corp. is apologizing for altering a photo on its Web site to change the race of one of the people shown in the picture.A photo on the Seattle-based company’s U.S. Web site shows two men, one Asian and one black, and a white woman seated at a conference room table. But on the Web site of Microsoft’s Polish business unit, the black man’s head has been replaced with that of a white man. The color of his hand remains...

Why One Wife Now Chooses To Shop Alone

Here’s a proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British Hypermart to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs Murray, While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store’s loyalty card, the manager of the store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of just some offenses over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras: * 15 Jun: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking. * 2 Jul: Set all alarm clock in Hardware’s to go off at five-minute intervals. * 14 Aug: Moved a “Caution – Wet Floor” sign on a carpeted area. * 4 Oct: Look right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose. * 3 Dec: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. * 18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled “Pick me! Pick me!”. * 23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “There is no toilet paper here!”. Yours Sincerely, Store...

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. o A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will...

90% of US paper money contains traces of cocaine

On Sunday, the American Chemical Society, a nonprofit scientific society chartered by Congress, released a study claiming that up to 90 percent of U.S. paper money contains traces of cocaine. Of the 5 countries studied, The U.S. and Canada had the highest levels tested, with China and Japan ranking lowest, from 12 to 20 percent contamination levels. Scientists are reporting that cocaine is present in up to 90 percent of paper money in the United States, particularly in large cities such as Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit. The scientists found traces of cocaine in 95 percent of the banknotes analyzed from Washington, D.C., alone. What does that...